Third Culture Kids

There is a new label that is used to describe expat children who grow up without "roots", among other things, called Third Culture Kids. As I learned more about it I have wondered if my children have been out of their country long enough to actually be out of touch with say, pop culture, or even just cultural norms. I felt like we were pretty in the loop until we made the jump and entered the "time warp" back to the good ol' U.S.A a week ago. 

The change happens for me personally, the moment we get off of the plane in America. First of all, it's instant anonymity. We no longer stick out for being Western. Maybe because we have 5 kids, but not because those 5 kids are American. Secondly, and I'm just gonna be honest, I'm always shocked by how fat Americans are. You always here about our obesity problems, but it's such a stark contrast when you're not used to seeing it and you step from one country into another.

The next thing I notice is that I am suddenly literate again. It's like if your vision is blurry and you put on a pair of glasses and instantly everything comes into sharp focus. I can read every single sign and every ad and trust me, there is a noticeable difference in marketing. 

Asian marketing rarely appeals to me. Their commercials for instance, are always silly with high pitched voices and jingles, adults acting juvenile or even cartoonish themes. And don't get me started on how much they love their mascots. So it's interesting how I feel when I see ads that actually catch my eye rather than make me want to smash the little screen at the check out counters. 

Well, one of the first places I've noticed my children are out of touch is also in the marketing area. Turns out they like American marketing as well. They are suckers for it. In example, when our family walked into (seemingly) giant Winco for groceries early Saturday after we arrived, my children were completely overwhelmed by all of the food choices. Beautiful row after row of perfect looking fruits and veggies was just the beginning.
The real obvious difference came at the check out stand where there are an array of colorfully wrapped candies and goodies begging you to impulse buy them. My older three must've sounded like they'd been locked in a cellar their whole lives. They were holding up bubble tape and saying, "Hey look! This says it's gum!" or "Mom! They have M&M's! How much is nine...nine?" Or my personal favorite, when Kohen could not figure out how to push the big square button thing to make the items move down the conveyor belt so you can self bag them. He was lifting up the flap, trying to push it with his hand, and generally being conspicuous. *sigh*
We had a 'moment' when I took all 5 by myself into Walmart for the first (and hopefully last?) time. My goal was to not make any scenes big enough to land us on People of Walmart. com, but since Ander behaved things were relatively smooth. We walked through the toy isles and pretty much everything my children said must've sounded strange to anyone listening. They were extremely excited about each and every item they saw. They also asked if they could maybe have every single item for Christmas. I mean really, whose never been to Walmart before?! Truth is, I just don't think they remember much about it.

The discoveries continue to happen, today at church Ander noticed the water fountains. At our chapel in Taipei there are the big water jug dispensers instead of drinking fountains, so this was a new circus attraction for Ander. And once he had discovered it there was no moving him until he had the whole thing figured out.

So while there have been many noticeable small lapses that I've observed, overall I think it could (and may someday) be much worse. After a few weeks here the children will probably not be so astonished by their surroundings. And I mean hey, Kennedy did quietly plead for me to get her that Justin Bieber doll for Christmas. I guess she couldn't be that out of touch!

(She is sooo gonna die if she ever finds out I wrote that!)

And He Dwelt In A Tent

Remember that one time I wrote all about how Ander was so "busy" and outsmarting us all of the time and pretty much wearing. me. out. member that? 

Well things reached a fevered pitch when Nathan went out of town for two weeks - ok, technically it was 2 days short of two weeks, but as the Single Parent Survivor of said trip, I reserve the right to round up. Anyway, Ander was playing until 10pm-ish, keeping Kohen awake, then doing his morning rounds waking everyone between 4:45am and 5am. Not even Scarlett was exempt. 

I was sleeping fitfully, waking all night long expecting to find Ander had left his room, the house, or even the premises. When I finally couldn't take it anymore I engaged in some desperate brain storming. I remembered this tent thing I had seen a few months ago at a store. I remembered thinking at the time that I wished I had access to a crib tent so I could make Ander stay in a while longer. But now, in my current sleep/safety crisis, I realized that the tent which is designed to fit a cot and keep the mosquitos of off you, might just be the perfect solution.

:::Cue Hallelujah! chorus::
It's perfect. The tent saves the day and suddenly Ander is back to sleeping 8:00pm - 7:30am. And since I don't have to worry as much about his escaping, I am sleeping soundly again too. If you are inclined to judge me for literally locking my 2 year old up to sleep, be my guest. I feel no guilt. Heck, I even pull the inside zipper pulls to the outside and run the shoe lace through all four pieces before double knotting it. I knew he couldn't have anything to work with or he would make his escape.
He proved me right when a babysitter left the two inside zipper pulls on the inside. He was able to pull enough that some of the teeth on the zipper track opened a hole big enough to squeeze out of.
I'm telling ya, Ander bides his time, sitting there sucking his fingers, looking all innocent. But he's really just at work plotting my next undoing.

 Nathan and I's relationship with this kid reminds me of a line from the Rescuer's Down Under when the bad guy shouts, "My mental facilities are twice the size of yours, ya pea brain!"
It's fitting because whenever Nathan and I think we have bested our crafty toddler, he unravels our carefully laid plans in the blink of an eye. It's a pretty regular exercise in humility. But for the moment, brief as it is likely to be, the tent has given us a small respite.

Best tent feature? It folds up into a small circle and weighs nothing. It was the first thing I packed to take with us to the states this summer.

Not-So-Altered Ego

 When soccer started in November and we arrived for practice Kohen asked me to write his name on his jersey for him. I had grabbed the marker and started writing when he added a little request, could I please add a cape to the "K" on his name. Knowing his appreciation for any and all super heroes, I saw no problem with adding a super cape to his name. I felt it was pretty fitting, actually.

 A few weeks later I started noticing the new addition show up on his school papers coming home. Being his mom, of course I smiled to myself thinking how much I love that kid, but figured the little trend would pass.

 7 months later and you will still find his emblem of a caped K on his name. If you look really closely (below) you can see that the little "k" on the cape, is sporting a cape as well. Adorbs. Never mind it probably takes him 20 minutes to write his name.

Kohen's teachers caught on quickly this year to how certain things just explode his imagination. Monkey's and also Super heroes being 2 of the main ones. So they really encouraged him to imagine and develop his thoughts and ideas into his drawings and stories. 

It probably doesn't surprise you to learn then, that Kohen has recently created his own Super Hero Alter Ego. But the details must remain TOP SECRET until he is ready to reveal. This pic is a little hint though.

For now you get capes on K's.