Mosquito Bandito

Here's the thing. Over the last 9 months we have had a menagerie of different disgusting bugs come parading through our home. The only reason I have refrained from blogging about them is because I have hopes that some of you will come visit. A less selfish person might've just said "because I didn't want to gross you out in case you were eating breakfast" but, this is me after all.

Of all the creepy crawlers, I have found it is the tiniest irritators that are the most rage inducing. Mosquitos. I loathe them. And Taiwan's climate enables Mosquitos to be prolific reproducers. Have I ever mentioned I hate mosquitos? Don't mind if I do.

I think I hated them the normal amount until they started playing dirty and attacking us at night. Like the morning Aly woke up looking like she had a bad case of the Chicken Pox but no, it was just 30+ mosquito bites, twelve of which were on her right upper arm. I was livid. How can you fight something in your sleep?!! It wasn't as if our home was inundated with them, all it takes is a few glutinous suckers to make a smorgasbord out of you while you're out cold drooling on your pillow.

And it's not like I'm stingy about my blood, heck I've given it to the Red Cross plenty of times. I'm just saying if something is going to come suck my blood, can I make a request it be this ^ guy, or maybe one of his brothers? I may not be a "Twihard" but I know a better deal when I see one.

In the mean time I've had to come up with a plan to defend our family. First I tried the "clap!" method. This is where you chase after the mosquito, who, by the way, flies like he spent a little too much time at the Cantina. When you finally get close you *!CLAP!* your hands together and then quickly survey them in hopes you've just made a Skeeter Sandwich.... Dang. Nothin. At least 85% failure rate.

Then theres Nathan's method. I have to share it because, well because I've never seen this technique before and I suspect I know why. He chases the weaving little bugger around the room and all of a sudden with one hand he' ll grab! at the air and then he'll start scrunching up his fingers in his fist like he's trying to pulverize the mosquito in a motion that looks like he's scraping a sticker off his palm with one hand or something. Very unique technique, 100% fail rate so far but it sure does entertain the whole fam watching him employ it.

*I think we both sensed we were overwhelmingly getting owned by something miniscule, so Nathan took action and went and purchased us some weapons. Game on.

It's become a family effort, the kids often spot them first and ring the alarm Beyonce' style. I have good eyes but wow, theirs are better. Anyway, I'll go get the Racket of Death, two if I'm feelin feisty, and we hunt the offender down until we hear the most satisfying *ZAP!* - a sound that gives me a high I could easily become addicted to. Never mind that I just took out a bug that I am roughly 200 x's bigger than, by swinging around a large bolt of electricity. Over kill? I think not. Not when they play dirty and leave behind a reminder of their silent assault for days after they are gone.
These are our battle faces. Don't mess.