Coco Palms 2012 NYE

Our first morning on the beach, here are the kids with one of their favorite Uncles, Shayn. He is amazing with the kids and they love him to pieces. No for real though, we have to make rules about not smothering him for his own safety!

 Cecily and I took turns staying back in the bunglow with Scarlett and Ander for naps. When we came two years ago and Ander was a baby he slept out by the pool a lot. Scarlett was good but not quite that chill. She definitely prefers to go to sleep in her own bed.

 We got lunch including freshly cut mangos on the beach one afternoon, yum!

It rained off and on a few of the days but most of the time was truly beautiful. We had to put sunscreen on very often. No one believes me that the UV rays are more intense here. But after some initial burns of the doubtful *cough*Shayn*cough* even though sunscreen had been applied (just not frequently enough) I earned a little credit. It is gorgeous but that sun is intense.

 So grateful to have Cecily's extra pair of helpful hands around! Ander loves his Cecily.

 Also thanks to Cecily, Nathan and I got to go out with just the adults almost every night. It felt so awesome to be able to get the kids settled, then leave them in Cecily's capable hands and go have dinner with adults. We were actually able to enjoy our food, have uninterrupted conversations, not have to stagger our eating/soothing babies. Glorious. That was definitely a highlight of the trip for me.

 They set this contraption up on New Years Eve day for the party that night but Nathan and the kids got to break it in first. LOT's of fun, and surprisingly, no tears!

 Shayn and Nathan spent a day on a gorgeous course. These boys seem to make a good pair for golfing. They always have a good time. They also went and watched Muai Thai Fighting one night. I am a little disappointed because I would've liked to have seen some but when we parted ways it was really late and us girls thought for sure they were going to miss it. It turned out that it ran later than we initially thought. The boys talked about it for days afterwards; even got a knock out on video. Pretty cool. 

 New Year's Eve the Coco Palms put on a huge dinner with "entertainment" and games for the kids etc. It was their first time putting on a big NYE party and you could kind of tell. But we made the most of it and the children ran around to the different games winning prizes and having a blast.

 Randomly, this pic reminds me of how everyone seems to have their own opinions on who Scarlett looks like. To us she looks a heck of a lot like Kennedy did as a baby. Either way, she fits in.

 One of the first pictures of all of us. I love it. I love my family.

 And I love my seesters. We had a fabulous time together. (I am LOVING this chicken!) And they were forever patient with the considerable entourage that is my children. Nathan and Shayn decided two years ago when they were visiting us over Chinese New Year that they would meet us in Thailand to ring in 2012. I still can hardly believe we pulled it off.

 The live music was really offensive on the ears and I kid you not, I could've given a better performance of the songs they were singing karaoke to. It was a bit painful, to the point of giving us giggles.

 Eventually we gathered the kids up to do a few fireworks of our own before sending them off to bed.

 As the New Year approached here were fireworks and lanterns going off and lifting off everywhere. It was truly as magical as we'd been led to believe it would be. On our particular beach the lanterns they had for you to use didn't seem to have enough kerosene and had difficulty with lift off. After a little trial and error Nathan and I were able to launch several successfully. We felt like old pros.

It was a wonderful week and I am so grateful we got to spend it with family. What wonderful memories we made... And what a great way to welcome in 2012.

Koh Samui Thailand

Everyone was excited to get the chance to ride an elephant. We chose the perfect day to go because it was overcast and though it was still really hot it was at least not as boiling as it could've been. Nathan and I rode with the babies.

Cecily (our favorite babysitter), Kennedy, Natalie, and Aly rode the second elephant...

And Shayn and Ashley took Kohen with them. Their elephant had awesome looking tusks and used to have a career of some sort. Our elephant guy kept trying to explain to me by repeating "Hollywood, Hollywood."I just nod and smile. 

Feeding a baby tiger was pretty cool. It was heavier than I would have guessed and his paw was as big as my face and you can see he put his paw in the crook of my arm to try and get at the bottle but his paw was so heavy I almost couldn't hold it. Crazy. But cool.

My sister Natalie immediately broke out in a rash after holding the tiger. Who knew you could be allergic to tigers? Sounds so much cooler than being allergic to cats.

We hiked up to the cleverly named "Waterfall #2" and the kids all eventually made it into the water with Nathan. They were wearing clothes and it was fun to see them hesitate and then go for it, not worrying about getting their clothes wet.

The funniest moment by far was when Nathan hiked back down out of the waterfall with Ander, whose regular diaper had now swollen beyond capacity. Nathan went to set him on his shoulders and Ander's diaper finally exploded off of him and dropped to the ground. So there Ander sat, with a naked tush on his dad's shoulders. It made for a great picture but you'll just have to trust me on that one.

Getting to ride on/hold/feed wild animals, truly made for a memorable day.

Bangkok Thailand

Our trip got off to a bumpy start when we arrived at the airport and despite having our etickets in hand and confirmation emails on Nathan's laptop- the airline, KLM, claimed that they had cancelled our tickets two months before. It was difficult to understand then, why they had taken the money out of our account and not returned it, nor had they ever sent us an email telling us they cancelled the tickets. DRAMA.

Apparently this has happened before according to the KLM employees working the counter. It was especially embarrassing for them since Nathan could pull up our account to show they had never returned the money. Doesn't seem right does it?

We had to purchase new tickets right then and there, and worry about the "issue" later. 

We flew into Bangkok and arrived at our hotel 1am Taipei time. 

 We had a few hours the next morning to see something in Bangkok. We chose the Siam Ocean World that was near by. It was a great aquarium. Perfect for our timing.

 There were touch pools where you could explore the coral, star fish, sea anemones, sea cucumbers and more. This was a favorite spot.

 Scarlett was exhausted from our late night the day before and fell asleep the moment I laid her in the stroller.

 They had these tubs that had the fish in them that eat the dead skin off of your feet. You had to sit real still-   a difficult task for Aly and Ander- but if you did it wasn't long before a bunch of teeny fish would be nibbling your tootsies.

 It TICKLES!

 They had the tunnel you can walk through with all of the fish and sharks and sting rays swimming idly by and over you.  Here is Kenna hitching a ride.

 Ander would punch the fish when they swam by him, he was very pleased with the arrangement.

 The also had this area where the kids showed up on the screens so they spent some time pretending to swim and snorkel on screen.

 Then we have my favorite pic of the day. We all did our pose and then when I looked at the camera it took me a second to find Aly. We are still laughing about it. She was already a casualty of the shark teeth... funny girl.
We nearly didn't make it to the airport for our last little leg to Koh Samui. The traffic was insane and the trip from the aquarium to the the hotel and the hotel to the airport was a couple of the most stressful hours of my life. Even when I knew there was nothing else to be done. It just further confirmed what I already knew, I have NO business ever being on The Amazing Race.
We made it, though it was close.

 Our kids had no idea that their Auntie Natalie and Auntie Ashley and Uncle Shayn were meeting us in Thailand! We walked in and I walked right over and sat down next to my sister. I watched Kennedy's face as she looked around us unsuspecting, and then she focused on my sister and her mouth dropped open. It was awesome. Cheering and even a squeal or two ensued. We made a scene, but a good one, which is a change for our crew. It was a happy reunion.

 This is Ander about 2 minutes before he clotheslined himself on this bar, which knocked him back onto the hard floor. We thought he just hurt the back of his head until we noticed the giant goose egg between his eyebrows. Whoopthie!

 Especially after my sisters and BIL had been traveling for 36 hours, this gorgeous open air airport was a welcomed site for all.

We were tired but thrilled to be in Thailand, together.

A Surprise For Nathan

When you've been together for a decade +, the special occasions that you need to buy your loved one a gift for really add up fast between Birthdays, Holidays, Father's days, and Anniversaries. Over the last year or so I've gotten in a gift giving slump. What used to be one of my greatest pleasures- hunting down that perfect gift- has lost it's luster living overseas with lame-o shopping; can we have a moment of silence remembering Target? *wipe a tear*

This year I wanted to do something special for Nathan and I started brainstorming weeks ahead; hey, my brain doesn't storm as efficiently as it used to. Eventually I came up with an idea. When I mentioned it before I said I "redecorated" Nathan's office but that isn't really accurate. There was no "re" involved. Picture giant white walls. They were begging for attention. 

I enlisted the help of my neighbors Carrie and Brandie and over a few weeks they helped me with much of the prep. Everything here takes 3 times as long as in the states, at least. We went to the plant place and got plants and pots. I went to the little hole in the wall place you go to get canvas pictures stretched. I went to antique places, I went back to all these places to pick up stuff purchased. I went to Ikea, I went to the store for paint, etc. It was involved.

But it was so worth it. I tried so hard to keep it a surprise. Over the weeks I extracted information from Nathan while trying not to arouse suspicion. I made excuses for him to give me his work address in Chinese, his code into the office, I even convinced him to take off the 23rd so I could "finish last minute shopping". I was pretty impressed with myself. I must have at least some skill because he never suspected.

So the morning of the 23rd, Brandie, Carrie and her 3 oldest (2 back from college for the holidays) all snuck out early with our vans packed full of ladders, furniture, plants, paintings etc, and headed to Nathan's office.

It took us less than two hours once we actually got started. Scarlett was pooped out just from watching! It was so much fun, working and laughing together and I felt so grateful that these friends would sacrifice their precious holiday time to come and help me. It was truly a labor of love.

It turned out amazing, if we do say so ourselves. We placed things so that it is the coziest when sitting right at Nathan's desk. The video shows the other little area with the picture of HK and the antique yellow box thing.
The wooden wheel is exceptionally cool. It is an antique Chinese wheel, the wood is exquisite and so unique. I chose it because it reminded me of what Chinese coins traditionally looked like, but more importantly, it reminded me of work. The bottle is this gin bottle from the 1800's that Nathan found snorkeling in St. Thomas, also very cool.

The crew, Makenzie, Levi, Brandie, Carrie and Sydney. (I have to disclaim on Makenzie's behalf that she was borrowing the awesome blue sweats that Carrie was given at a hospital once. Painting clothes at their finest!)

Before I left I took a video on Nathan's iPad showing him the surprise. I then wrapped up his iPad for him to open Christmas morning. He was a little confused but when he found the videos he was blown away. He loves it. He made all of the effort worthwhile. He said he couldn't wait a week to see it (since we were leaving the next day) and loaded us all up in the car to go see it for himself. He reacted at least 3 x's better than I expected. 

It made my Christmas to make his. 

Here is a short video I took to show my sisters my handiwork:

Ji Jiao

Because I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to hear an update of my infants self soothing habits (oh that there was a font for sarcasm...) I have news. Just like what happened with her brother before her, there was a subtle battle going on where I pushed the pacifier and Scarlett sucked her thumb. Then when she started sleeping consistently on her back she suddenly started rejecting the pacifier all together - get's highly offended when I  even so much as suggest it- and she has since taken to her middle and ring finger for her comfort needs.
For those of you avid followers on this topic (sarcasm font!) you will note this is just a finger slide to the side of Ander's choice in fingers. Frankly, I have no idea what these children are doing.
If you weren't already completely enthralled and enamored with this topic, would it help to know that the Chinese have a name for when babies suck their fingers: Ji Jiao. It means, wait for it, Chicken Feet. Though I was initially horrified realizing they think it looks like my innocent babes are suckling chickens feet, I now better understand just how much the Chinese truly love their chicken feet and it's actually meant in an endearing way.

I'm glad we had this little conversation.
All in agreement, raise your ji jiao.

Christmas 2012

Christmas 2012 turned out unexpectedly awesome.

 Unlike the Christmas tree pics I tried to take.
Above was one of the test shots, below is one of the actual attempts, not sure what Ander is declaring but Scarlett didn't care for it... I think if it wouldn't have been past bed time I might have tried a few more.

 The upside of having so many presents to wrap even when there are just a few for each person is that your tree looks full and amazing. I think pictures of the Christmas tree are so magical.

 Christmas morning we had a little miracle. Because Nathan was in an accident he didn't get home until 2am and of course I wasn't able to go to bed until he was home safely. I figured the kids would just wake us up when they couldn't contain themselves anymore. Imagine my surprise when Kennedy whispered to me and woke us up after 8am! They had been waiting patiently since 6am but didn't want to wake us. So unexpected and so sweet.

 However, because we had slept in and also had to get ready for church soon, we were forced to only do stockings and breakfast before going to church.
Nathan and I were so proud of our kids. They were the only one of their friends who had to wait until after church to discover what Santa had brought them; but they impressed us so much with their self control.

Church was lovely and a good way to focus on the actual meaning of Christmas. When we got home the children all wanted to change back into pajamas before we dug in. This year we had both sets of Grandparents watching on Skype. Nathan's parents are serving a mission in Seattle, WA and my parents now live in Spokane, WA. It was awesome to have them tuning in, though looking back Nathan and I realized we missed a lot of what was going on, and lot's of photo op's while trying to insure the kids were where the grandparents could see etc. Maybe a little hectic. But nice to feel like family was near.
Consequently, I have no pictures of Ander with his favorite gift, a baseball bat and ball. Listen, the kid has some raw talent when it comes to physical activities and sports. In his world, anything round is a ball and anyone upright should be tackled.

 Kohen in his new Superman outfit, those muscles = my fave! Kennedy was excited about the salon chair for her American Girl Doll, though if her dolls had any idea what kind of tortuous trips to the "salon" were coming they would have hidden themselves straight away!

 And Aly, thrilled about clothes. She was given a dress that looks like a little sailor girl and she wants to wear it EVERYDAY. She changes into it EVERYDAY after school. She adores it. For whatever reason, the dress inspires her imagination. Cute girl.

And sweet Scarlett, she was my personal favorite gift this year.
What a Merry Christmas after all!

A Near Miss Melt Down

I cut more than a foot of hair off, recently. It was exciting, I have to admit, to come home and see everyone's reaction. I didn't actually want to cut it but after a baby my hair comes out at an alarming rate and having long hair the thickness of a rat tail is neither attractive nor excusable. So I lobbed it off. It'll grow.

This Christmas season was a busy one. I tried hard to be prepped before hand; I started wrapping presents from grandparents as early as November. With a large family it's time consuming with only a few gifts each. I had found and prepared activities that were holiday oriented for the kids to do on their week off of school before Christmas. I was secretly preparing for Nathan's present (more on that later) which was stressful because I really wanted to keep it a surprise. I was exhausted.

I think the exhaustion may have played into my near miss of an epic Mommy Meltdown on Christmas Eve. I am more prone to these episodes when there is high stress/low sleep involved. To be clear, I had to pull off Nathan's office redecoration surprise Friday morning. Festivus at our house Friday night. Christmas Eve with neighbors and friends, Christmas day with a speaking part at church so we needed to be on time, and leaving for an international vacation on Monday. Sooo, just a few things on my plate.

Christmas Eve involved 18 children, 10 adults. I love all of these people. It was a (mostly) lovely time. The food was delicious even though I was the only one who didn't bring enough of my dishes for there to be the left overs we had all been looking forward to. Long story as to why, but it was what it was. No one said anything but I felt embarrassed. Then there were kids running everywhere, at decibels that should require ear protection to stave off long term damage, and so it wasn't long before my nerves were completely frayed. There was also some pressure to get done and home so the kids could get to bed which can make it difficult to just enjoy the moment. The only way I can explain how I feel when I come home from gatherings like these is, raw.

As soon as we got home the kids opened their pj's and put them on. I had researched and practiced settings with the tripod to get a Christmas picture of them in front of the tree. They did not turn out. The kids were NOT cooperating and I could no longer ignore the headache that was developing. I was at the end of my rope. Frustrated that I don't know how to use the dang camera. Frustrated that I live in a country where I can't take classes to get better cuz I don't speak Mandarin. Frustrated I can't speak Mandarin. It's hard. And I suck. And... you see where that was going right?

When my frustration peaked at the photo shoot gone horribly wrong, I simply got up, turned around and quietly walked up the stairs to my room trying to swallow the giant lump in my throat. I put the baby in her bed and flopped down on my own and tried to let the darkness and the white noise of the fan soothe me. I knew it was Christmas Eve and I couldn't be absent while the kids were going to bed. That would be extra lame. So I sat there and had this inner dialogue that was half prayer and half pep talk. I tried to quite the negative thoughts that were threatening to take over my sensibilities. It wasn't working, so I prayed harder. Just to be able to walk out and not take away from the Christmas spirit for a few short minutes. It took everything I had. But I rolled back out of bed and stood up. Headed towards the fam.

I rallied for the fifteen minutes I needed to. The kids were none the wiser and will not have some freaky memory of their mom having a mental breakdown on Christmas Eve, which is good. As Nathan tucked them in I went back to my bed. I was e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. But there was still several hours of work to do. Nathan came in and laid down, and promptly fell asleep. Irritated at his ability to do so, especially in the face of all that yet needed to be done, I got up and went and started a bath. I sat there in the quiet, in the dark and tried to feel better. I swear, I was just so overstimulated from the party I needed to feel peace and calm.

I'm not gonna lie right now though I am tempted to do so. I sat there and felt sorry for myself for a while. I am overwhelmed in my life right now. Completely and utterly. I don't know how we went from having a good strong handle on things with 4 to insanely out of control with 5. Well, I have a few ideas as to how, but you know what I mean. I am not going to try and list everything I am juggling and the things I struggle with because I don't need everyone weighing in on my struggles and whether or not you think I am justified in my wrestle with them.

Because of all that is on my plate there is very little time for me to do anything that isn't related to mothering. Certainly not time for me to develop any talents or even do things for myself. To everything there is a season is stuck on repeat in my mind. How I long to escape to a Target and fill my cart full of beautiful things I don't need. Then after getting a drink at the snack bar, leaving the cart behind and feeling somehow better. It's always when I start feeling sorry for myself that I can't go to Target that I snap back to reality.

Standing on the cliff of a breakdown, dark with winds of negativity and self loathing threatening to send me tumbling over the edge, I took a step back. I started with the absurdity of what I was coming unglued about: the fact that I had too many fun activities and a balmy tropical vacation on deck? Sounds like a First World Problem. I chose to take an honest panoramic view of the situation which would have to include things like, yes, I have a lot of little children right now. But my husband has a good job and we have plenty of food to eat and a comfortable home. My husband is home for the holidays. Some of my friend's husbands were not. My children are healthy. Some of my friend's children are not. I am able to have children. Some of my friends are not.
I suddenly felt ashamed that I was letting myself think such one sided thoughts. Yes, I am overwhelmed right now. But I am overwhelmed with the logistics of a job that I grew up longing to have. I have problems and trials and they are real and they are difficult. But after taking a moment to think of the trials of friends and family, I realized I will gladly take the ones I have.

Not to mention that in a few short years this stage of Littles will be all but a memory, and I desperately want to appreciate every stage and phase for all that it has to offer.
I slowly began to pull out of the tailspin. I believe there was some divine intervention helping me that night. And I am so grateful for it. I was able to get out of the tub and get on to the things that I needed to.
Nathan left at 11:45pm to go get milk. About ten minutes later I got a text that he'd been in an accident. He was thankfully, unharmed. It was the perfect accident to galvanize my gratitude for all that I have. Almost too much to take in... almost.

Yikes. That got kind of heavy.
Anyway, I got my hair cut.

Christmas Carols by Kennedy

Kennedy recently started taking piano lessons. She has loved the Christmas carols. She asked if I would video her playing them so her grandparents and cousin Laynie could see. I am so proud of her progress with the piano. Merry Christmas!