I would like to request permission for a mini-vent. I don't know if anyone is still reading at this point but I am going to assume permission granted. There is a day every month nearing a certain time of month when I get ridiculously emotional. Three months in a row now I have actually cried on this day. I hate that. It is so stupid. I know why it is happening and I think that annoys me even more to think that the reason I am crying (something I rarely do, minus this day) is because of dang hormones. I mean, so what does that even mean? Does that mean my feelings aren't real? Kind of I think.Take today. I woke up on a Sat. morning and bounced happily out of bed. Let's stop right there. See that? Bouncing out of bed? That is not normal. For several hours as we did Saturday morning chores together as a fam I practically whistled around the house. That's not normal either. Then around noon the clouds rolled in. I read something online and totally got my feelings hurt (and no, it was not you). I stood there in the kitchen and totally wanted to cry. I mean really wanted to. But then a light bulb went on and I realized it was hormone induced and that was it. I told myself 'Stiff Upper Lip' (not to be confused with "Stick Up Your Lip" like Kennedy thought the saying was) and refused to cry. I am not going to let some breaking dam of hormones make me cry over stupid stuff anymore. It is stupid. Now the uncontrollable laughing that happens sometimes, that can stay...
On a brighter note. This is my favorite picture of the month. Nathan was playing "Oh Holy Night", our favorite Christmas song and the kids were dancing. If I could choose one thing to be amazing at it would be singing. I love, love, love to sing but it isn't anything that anyone would love, love, love to hear. I'm best in a choir if you know what I mean. I once dated a guy who was an amazing singer. I couldn't sing around him. It would be like me showing up to the Indie 500 in a Dune Buggy. Comical. Anyway- I have a point, I swear- I married Nathan obviously, and I am free to sing to my heart's content and believe you me, I do. I never feel judged or inadequate, in fact I think Nathan might actually be hard of hearing. Here's why. He really. Really. loves me to sing. Especially when he plays our afore mentioned favorite Christmas song. I am blushing even writing this because I know who reads this and you are probably scrolling to the top to make sure it is me writing it. But Nathan will insist and even coax the kids into coming and and asking me with big doe like eyes if I will come sing the song. It makes me feel good. Even if Nathan is the only one in the world who enjoys it -and he very well may be- I love him for allowing me the freedom to sing without shame in our home.
And I am posting the picture a second time because I really love it that much.
7 comments:
The only thing I love more than venting, is listening to other people vent . . .or reading in this case. I always read everything you type (you're a hilarious writer)and I think you're amazing.
It's true isn't it? I mean between the monthly thing, the pregnancies, the nursing, the postpartum, the menopause and the crash afterward its a wonder our friends and family ever know the real us!!! I am impressed you only cry one day and can talk yourself around it so well:) I think this picture is adorable and I stood next to you in treble, you always sounded great. I'm sure its only better with your own accompanist:)
My hormonal crying day was Saturday also. I thought there would be no way I would wake up happy the next day, but i did. It really is the hormones. Dang it. Oh and I love to hear you sing and I'd love to join in, just like old times.
Hormones! Mostly hate those things...but it is what it is.
I don't think I've ever seen you cry. I'm always the crybaby though, and even more so since I have kids. Cry when I'm happy, cry when I'm sad. Booo! Hoo!
I hate crying. I told this to my girls the other day and they were shocked to think that I ever cry.
I read your blogg Erin, I think you and Shelly are so entertaining.. I thought I was going to hear you sing and Nathan play the piano.....Keep up the pictures and fun stories. Thanks for thinking of Don..He seems to look forward to church classes. Take care honey..love to you and yours, G'ma Nona
When you were talking about how Nathan just loves to hear you sing; so does Taylor with me, but I also think he is hard of hearing. LOL! And I've heard you sing and you sing good! Next time show us a video of you singing, please!!!! ;)
It's nice to know that other people cry sometimes too! Hormones or no hormones...sometimes it's just necessary ;). Sometimes I feel silly that I can still get my "feelings hurt" as an adult, but what can you do??
Love the singing story. I'm so glad Nathan encourages you to sing, and I would have you in my choir anyday! (We sing tomorrow, and I'm not NEARLY as stressed as I thought I would be...but I sure will relax when it's all done!)
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