Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia 2013

At the end of April we got the sad news (I still contend that "devastating" wouldn't be too dramatic to say) that our friends and neighbors the Stathams would be moving. 

It didn't take us long to come up with a plan to have one last hurrah. Managing for all three couples on the lane to go to Sri Lanka last year was a bit of a miracle and we knew it couldn't happen again in such a short time. Instead we decided that the Chiles would go on a weekend getaway with the Stathams and I would hold down the lane and all 14 kids (I did have some help) and then Nathan and I would take a turn on a weekend getaway with the Stathams while Carrie held down the lane. 

My turn wasn't actually that difficult, our biggest challenge was on Mother's day getting 14 kids to church, through church and home again!

But pretty soon it was our turn to go and on a Friday morning after we got the kids on the bus we headed with our friends to the airport. 3 hours later we were in beautiful Kota Kinabalu Malaysia.

We stayed at the Shangri la and wow, it is the nicest place that Nathan and I have ever stayed. We felt spoiled! We were greeted our first evening with the most amazing sunset. I haven't changed any of the pictures at all, it was actually that vibrant and breathtaking, if you can believe it.

The next morning Nathan and Jeremiah hit the golf course bright and early. Brandie and I slept in a bit and then headed over to the spa. It was the best spa experience I've ever had. It was amazing. I felt so refreshed and relaxed after. 

 (Mt. Kota Kinabalu in the background)

 It was literally 72 hours of pure relaxation, cooling off in the pool, or reading a good book under an umbrella next to my favorite guy and our good friends. Each evening Nathan and I would go to our balcony and fill up the outdoor tub where we would read together while we watched the sun go down. It seemed like each sunset was trying to out do the last.

 The Shangri la has an Orang utan Preserve and Rehabilitation Center (I was surprised to discover Americans are some of the few who pronounce it "Ah rang a tang") on their land, so you can go and see them in their natural habitat during their feeding time. When two of them swung through the trees we could tell right away which one was 3 yrs old, it was totally Ander with fur! Right down to when he climbed over where we were all standing and decided it was a good time to pee.

 It was pretty fun to get to watch them for a while. They are fascinating creatures.

Nathan and I decided we were celebrating his finishing teaching early morning Seminary this year. I can't believe we did it! Well, mostly him, but it was definitely a team effort and balance. It's incredible what this man successfully juggled this year. I literally could not tell you how he pulled it all off.

We were so grateful to just have a few hours alone this trip. To have a conversation from start to finish uninterrupted by children. It was wonderful to reconnect. It was a blessing to be able to go. By now it's becoming clear to even me that I am in denial our friends are moving, as that was actually the whole reason for our trip! 

It was a wonderful weekend full of laughter and relaxing with great friends... and 3 unbelievable sunsets.

Father & Sons 2013

Last year the Father and Sons campout ended up taking place in our yard rather naturally after it had been rained out. Of course once the decision was made to cancel the campout, it quit raining and everyone decided to just throw up tents at our place instead. It was cool how it came together. 

It was little less cool this year when it was planned to take place in our yard. Mainly because someone making decisions is not a fan of camping and this would ensure that they could go home and sleep in their own beds.  

Nevertheless! There was a great turn out and everyone had an awesome time. 

I had to lean way out of the bathroom window to try and get a picture of the tent city that popped up in our yard. There was probably 6-9 tents but a lot more dads and sons came and hung out before heading home to their own beds. There was a nice little bon fire and they had a delicious dutch oven dinner (tasting it was the best benefit of hosting, yay!) and little boys running around unreasonably dirty considering they weren't actually in the wilderness.

 A few of the survivors the morning after.

Nathan was a bit busy and didn't manage many pictures, but sometimes you just gotta live in the moment. Ander may have been brought inside to his own bed around midnight but Nathan woke him up and brought him out for a delicious breakfast with his brother and Dad.
The tent city was broken down and our yard completely back in order by 10am. I was impressed.
I love when Nathan gets to spend time with his boys!

Mothers Day 2013

I'd like to open with a bit of honesty. Some mother's days are not good days. There have been a few where I wanted to stand up and rebuke the overly sappy and exaggerated things being said about "perfect moms" from the pulpit. I want to boo them like the old lady in Princess Bride.  

But alas, this Mother's day was a great one. No booing required. 

It started out with Nathan rolling over in bed and saying, "If you could have anything for breakfast what would it be?" I don't love traditional American breakfast foods (okay, I do heart bacon) so I was being a little cheeky when I replied Dahl Makani, my favorite Indian food. Without hesitating he said, "Okay." and hopped up to go get my breakfast. I couldn't believe it. Anticipating that I would rather have left overs than breakfast food he had bought my favorite food on Friday and hidden it in the fridge. It was the best start to a great day. He had totally surprised me.

I loved my "Happy Matures Day" mint plant grown by Aly. Matures day might be more fitting, huh?

My Mother's Day picture with my favorite little people in the world. They even kind of, almost, nearly cooperated taking the picture. See? A great day!

Snail Trail

I love my kids playing together outside. Love, love, love it. They all went on a snail hunt the other night and because we've had a deluge of rain recently there were a plethora of giant snails climbing all over. It was a great night for a snail hunt.
I was, however, less excited about the evolution from snail hunt to "snail massages".

Landslide on our Mountain

Over the last 12 hours we've had a torrential down pour, not terribly uncommon this time of year. But this morning Nathan drove past this very spot on his way down the mountain, and when he came back a few minutes later, this mini land slide is what he found. 

It doesn't seem too scary, until you see the taxi underneath the wreckage of broken trees and foliage. 

 Nathan said the man in the blue shirt is the taxi driver, so it appears he was unhurt.

 But from the looks of it, I'd say today is his lucky day. Wow.

Put Her There!

We live in a world where contracts are made to be broken. Americans are so litigious that it is hard to think any other way but defensively. Long gone are the days of "My word is my bond". Anymore, a good strong handshake is merely a formality and never an actual binding contract. 

Or is it?

The other day I was waiting at a light. The light turned green and traffic started moving along slowly with me at the back. All was well until a car parked on the side of the road suddenly pulled out and hit me. 

Annoyed, more than anything, I took a deep breath and got out of my van. 

The Chinese man was already out of his car shooting rapid fire Mandarin my way until I turned my head and from behind my black hair emerged my white face and he instantly stopped short and put his hands up in the air, turning away from me like, "You have got to be kidding me!" 

I walked around to check for damage, just paint transfer and a minor scratch, no big deal. I look at his car, a little body damage. He starts speaking very urgently to me again and then says his first English words to me, "Ok? Ok?" Like, it's fine, let's just call it good and go.

Umm no. Not ok. 

I understand quite a bit more Chinese than I can speak. What I was not hearing in his rants were any of the familiar apologetic phrases that I expected to hear from someone who was so clearly in the wrong. So did that mean he didn't think it was his fault? We can't just drive away without him at least admitting wrong doing! But I was now late for an appointment and not in the mood to do the song and dance with the Foreign Police.

So I did what I think most people would do. I grabbed my phone and started taking pictures. I got the scene, the damage on my car and his car, followed by his license plate. 

He starts getting more agitated. 

In Mandarin he is asking each and every passerby on the street if they speak English. 

About this time, a friend of mine had pulled over and come up and a worker tending nearby greenery also comes over and says in surprisingly good English, "He wants you to delete the pictures before you leave." I replied, "I am not going to erase the pictures, I will keep them so he can't say I did this."

Understanding seemed to dawn on our impromptu translator, he turned to the man who had hit me and explained the problem.  All of a sudden he got it and began saying to me, "Sorry. Sorry." finally apologizing. 

The translator then told me we must shake hands. What? Hmm... Awkward......but okay.

And that is how my friend got an official, totally-wouldn't-hold-up-in-court picture of us shaking hands. 

The funny thing is, as I drove away I thought, that handshake actually did make me feel better. The damage to my car was so minor and body work is very cheap. I just wanted him to say, Hey, I  am so sorry about that. It was an accident. 

 Sometimes it is refreshing to live in a place where an apology and a handshake can still make everything right. 

PS- I still laugh until I'm crying when I look at this picture... I love this quirky little country.

PPS- I feel pretty confident I could've taken this guy, if it'd come to that. 

Enablers

For the most part, Scarlett's big brother Ander has taught her everything she knows...

 But this was all her.
When I went to investigate a strange tinking sound I found Scarlett precariously perched on top of the piano. She was throwing the little decorative rocks and was pretty dang pleased with herself. Not dissuaded at all by my sudden appearance, she was reaching for another rock when I snapped the pic.

 Scarlett has recently turned into her big brothers protege'. He has bequeathed his vast wealth of knowledge to his quick-study baby sister. 

Sure, they laugh and wrestle and play pirates, with Ander fitting Scarlett with a too big pirate hat and trying to help her get a make-shift sword to stay in the elastic band of her pants. But he also teaches her how to climb up on the counters, leverage her weight to open the fridge, and climb in the pantry to retrieve snacks. And should she need assistance, he is of course always there to offer her a boost.

                                         

Mei Mei is pretty proud of her new skill set, proven as she gleefully scatters the napkin pile off the table for the millionth time. And be warned, if there are any liquids on the surface she has scaled, she will empty them all on the floor before you ever realize she was even on the counter. 

It was actually in a pretty quiet moment that I had the epiphany that I was in the grips of some serious toddler tyranny.
They both love the same blanket which is fine, we have several. But I've noticed my two self soothers put their fingers in their mouth whenever they have a blanket. I've tried really hard lately to keep the blankets in their beds to help minimize the fingers in the mouth. But they've taken to sneaking them whenever possible.
The other night I witnessed Scarlett, the girl who is so stingy with her words, bring out two blankets she'd scavenged up, casually handing one to her brother saying, "here doh" before she crawled up on the couch beside him and they both assumed the position.
It dawned on me then: they are totally enabling each other.

I absolutely love that they are buds, I really do. I'm just not sure it's worth the knowledge transfer that is  going on. The only thing trickier than one Ander is two!

21st Century Tattling

Boy times have changed since I was a kid. When I had a grievous tattle to tell -and believe me, I always did- I had to dramatically leave the scene of the offense, track down a parent, gain that weary parent's ear and then try to explain the affront with the most positive slant for me and the most traitorous for my sibling. The anticipation of whether or not said parent would deem my tale worthy of further investigation was the stuff a splendid childhood was made of. 

So when Kennedy bypassed all of the drama by instead swiping my phone to gather incriminating evidence in a self-righteous silence, and then casually handed me my phone back with the instructions to "see for myself", I knew for sure that times, they are a changing.   

 First I discovered a picture of Kohen eating a good choice food, an apple. I wouldn't be in a dither about that in any scenario I can think of so I eventually concluded that she wanted me to see that he was outside with just his socks on + eating an apple right before dinner. Surely this would illicit a parental response, right?!

Kennedy then moved on to catch Aly, likewise apple-handed, but she was going to use scissors to cut the apple, and that could go bad quickly... but still nothing much out of the ordinary...

... Until I flipped to this picture. Which is two training wheels that appear to have been covered in what? oil??? No........ paint!

 Having finally gotten my full attention I quickly swiped to the next picture and Kennedy announced with barely contained excitement, "Aly used the training wheels to paint the outside walls!"

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. When I saw that last one, there were only a few choice ones that came to mind.

Kennedy's Night Out With The Rents

After waiting patiently for her siblings to go, it was finally Kennedy's turn. She wanted to be surprised, but Nathan and I knew exactly what we wanted to do with Kennedy so it was easy.

 Indian food! Mom and Dad's very favorite food in Taiwan (ahh, the irony) is often brought home on weekend nights as take out. But it's only for Nathan and I once the kids are down. Kennedy has had lot's of tastes over the years but was so excited to be in on the big kids dinner.
I actually have a Pavlovian response when I see that food, mmmm.....

 Kennedy has a serious love and devotion for anything sweet. This mango slush hit the spot, she was giddy. There was so much that she had her fill and then some.

For our activity we went for foot rubs. Normally Nathan and I enjoy some light conversation before lapsing into a relaxed silence. Not tonight! Kennedy seized the opportunity to chat us up and hardly stopped to breathe. It was so cute, actually. Though about 45 min in, Nathan and I started making eyes at each other like, "Wow!" Her ability to make the most of her mom and dad time superseded the relaxing effect of foot rubs. It was a good trade though, and I know pretty soon I'll be wishing I didn't have to pull info out of her. (And that's 95 up there, for those who recognize the dexterous genius at my feet :)
We rounded out the night by letting Kennedy pick out a doughnut at Mr. Doughnut. She took the picking out process very seriously.
Highlight:
Spending time with one of our children who can actually have a thoughtful conversation and realizing that though she is small and looks young for her age, she is maturing and growing before our very eyes. We loved hanging out with Kennedy!

Kohen's Turn, Bowling!

Is it a sign that we are good parents or mean parents that each of our kids were dying to have sodas on their dates? After Kohen got the sprite he probably could have been satisfied to go home. Though I suppose I get excited about soda in a bottle too. Yum!

We decided to go bowling and it was actually super fun. We focused on really cheering each other on (in spite of the bowling alley filled with non-emotive Asians) and each of us got some strikes and spares so it was easy enough to do.

Most of the pictures of Kohen bowling looked like he had just been tazed, but he's only been once or twice before so that is to be expected. By the end he was looking more in control. Great progress!

                                        

Please note the spare sign in the back ground. Booyah!

                                        

My Bowling Boys

Before we left we played a few rounds of air hockey. I love the picture of Kohen laughing after just scoring against his dad. No greater joy, apparently.

We finished the night by taking Kohen to Outback for the first time. At this point in his life I would say food is Kohen's love language so he was in heaven. He was totally happy to share some appetizers with his mom and dad.

Highlight:

During dinner we were talking with Kohen about some of the struggles he's had recently, especially with controlling his mouth when frustrated. A few minutes later Nathan casually asked Kohen if he had a daughter, what would he tell her or what advice would he give her to help her do better. He thought about it for a minute and then said, "I would tell her to be kind, and to stay calm and to, HEEEY! Your using the Force on me!"

What a great night. 

Alyssa's Date Night

The aftermath of our crazy last month or so has left us feeling a bit out of sorts. Our kids recognized when Nathan or I were single-parenting and took full advantage. So we knew that spring break would be a great time to reign everyone in. We decided to start by taking the older three on a date night with mom and dad. 

 

Alyssa got to go first. We did not intend to be all matchy-matchy but when we went to take a picture we were pretty proud when we realized our accidental coordination. 

We took Aly to the newly opened, first in the world, Barbie Cafe. By all accounts, the decorations were  impressive. Everything was pink, sparkly, and foofy. 

                              

But alas, despite the fabulous decor, the food left everything something to be desired. I ordered a salmon salad which arrived looking dubious, with limp, slimy "smoked salmon" and a salad that, I kid you not, tasted like an ash tray. Frankly, I don't know how they even did that. We sent it back because it was inedible. 

Later when Nathan was paying the bill the guy checking him out said, "It was really bad wasn't it?" Nathan said, yes, it truly was. The guy said, "I am quitting so I can be honest." 

It was that bad.

 Probably the coolest idea in the place is this Barbie box where you can sit in the chair in the box and take pictures. She's so stinkin cute, I'd save up all of my penny's to buy a little doll like her.

Get in there!

Cutest Memory:

As we were driving along Nathan made a request for me to turn on a music app called Songza that we adore because the one Eng. radio station here is laughable. So he says to me, "Hey, wanna Songza me?" From the back seat Aly pipes up in her high-pitched little voice with, "Sure!" then breaks in to  song, with "I am a Chiiild of God...." It was the best "Songza" we've ever had.

For her activity Alyssa requested a ride on the merry-go-round over by the giant Ferris wheel. It cost $1.50 and she was happy as a lark. Ah, if only our children were always so easy to please as a 6 yr old!
It was great to get to spend time with our middle child, when you get this one alone she is about as funny and sweet as can be. Love her!

Cub Scouts for Kohen

Kohen has been really excited to be able to join the scouting program this year in the Cub Scouts. The program is run through the school and a parent has to attend all activities, but the trade off seems to be that siblings are welcome to come and participate in whatever they may be doing. It has become a fun Saturday morning activity for our family.

Kohen followed in the footsteps of many Wilcox and Jensen men before him in carefully and methodically preparing his first pinewood derby car with his dad. He could hardly wait for the big day to arrive.

His preparations and patience paid off. He placed first in his Den and third in his Pack. (A proud mother might selfishly note that the 1st & 2nd place winners both had cars ordered ready made and bought from online,  read: don't really count).

 Recently I took Kohen and Alyssa for a tour at a local tv station with the scouts. I had to wait and chuckle with Nathan later that the name of the station is TVBS. Who trusts a news outlet that admits it's TV is BS?!
Above you can see the kids checking out the set to a popular game show.

They also got to check out the sound stage for a talk show. It's so cool to see it in from that perspective.

 Here these two are sitting in the hot seat from the show. The inner Barbara Walters in me wanted to ask, "What is the biggest thing you've bwoken and kept hidden from your mom?"

 Here we watched their news anchor shooting live tv. It was fun to see her on a nearby monitor streaming in the news. And funny to watch her preen when she wasn't on camera.

Last we made a stop to see where all of the real action happens. This is where all of the different feeds come in and where it is decided what will go out. 

It was a fascinating behind the scenes trip at TVBS.

***(Incidentally, this trip marked a first for our fam. With Nathan out of town I was stuck without help. There was NO WAY I was wrestling all 5 kids through the station during nap time, lest we end up on the 5 o'clock news as the crazy waiguoren. So Kennedy babysat Ander and Scarlett as they slept during naps. My neighbor was home and on call for Kenna at the time, but she was excited to babysit and totally saved the day.)

Here is Kohen getting some more belt loops at an awards ceremony. Way to go Kohen!

Who are we kidding, I wrote this whole post so I could point out how good looking my men are in uniform.

A Really Bad Average

The last 30 days have not been my favorite, because in that last 30 days Nathan and I have been apart for 24 of those day. And of the sparse 6 remaining days, 3 of those days Nathan left to teach early morning seminary and had late dinner meetings, leaving us with a total of 3 days together in the last 30. That is not a good average... It has been a long month...
But as always, we survive.
Tonight I got to thinking though, exactly how did we survive?
Our neighbors on the lane have become like family and during months like these, if my sanity stays intact it is only because of the service and friendship that they give so constantly and freely.
After a particularly long week with Nathan gone, Brandie thoughtfully dropped off my favorite take-out meal to me before she and her husband went out on a date. Later as I was in the thick of it finishing dinner for the kids but also trying to get them all bathed, my other neighbor Carrie popped in to bring us some specialty bread she'd found and then helped me clean up the kitchen and bathe the kids before she went home. These small acts of service have been my life line.

 (Me and Carrie)

This last weekend Nathan was gone again, or rather, it wasn't one of the lucky 3 days he was home ;) and I had made it home later than I would've liked with the groceries to make dinner. I got everything ready to go -two different pots on the stove top- and the flame wouldn't start. No gas. I couldn't believe it, we just had the tanks replaced a few months ago! It's Saturday night and no one would be delivering more until Monday.
I called down to Brandie to have her come check out the gas tanks with me and see if both were empty or if we could switch to the the back up one. They were of course, both empty. I was maybe starting to panic a little about not having gas to cook with or warm water to clean, until Brandie had Jeremiah come up.
Before I know it he has the propane tank from our BBQ hooked up to the line going into the kitchen. Who even knew you could do that? Better yet, who even knows how to do that?!

It was a small thing but such a relief! There are just so many things they have done to lend a hand: brought up their scooter so we could jump Nathan's car, took all 5 kids and fed them lunch so I could just shower in peace one day, man-handled Ander at church for me, grab essentials from the grocery store for me, the list goes on and on.

(Brandie and Jeremiah)

Living close to these two families has taught me so much about a principle that I now know wholeheartedly to be true: If you want to have love for someone, simply serve them.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve these friends and also receive their acts of service. I know this last month would have been beyond unbearable without the service that was given so freely to us.

Asia Women's Conf. 2013

Asia Women's Conference is the most amazing spiritual resource I have as an expat. I look forward to it every year. However due to our insane schedules as of late, I was so torn about whether or not to go. But dang, I am so glad that I did.
We were really excited to have Sister Julie B. Beck with us this year, among others.
I could write all about it and show you gobs of pictures but my dear friend Nicole who currently lives in HK, already wrote an awesome post, explaining some of the drama that comes with being a committee member as we both were again this year. She was in charge of the food this year and... well, you'll just have to click here and read more about it.
What you won't see on her blog is the story of when Brandie and I were at the hotel Nathan had booked for us using his Marriott points, we jumped in a taxi to head to the church, only to discover it was basically across the street. The taxi driver was not as amused as we were, haha! There was literally an overpass and elevated walkways connecting the church to the Marriott. That was a treat.
I took away lot's of gems from the weekend but one of my favorites was some advice one of the speakers shared that had been given to her as wedding advice:
Make your needs known or they can never be met. 
So simple but surprisingly unintuitive!
I came away with lot's of thoughts and ideas that inspired me to do better across the whole spectrum of my life. And that is really what Women's Conference is all about.