Digging Into Boring Pie

Not a lot of posts on Asian stuff lately. I think the reason why is because, as we've been living here almost 2 years now, few things seem to phase me or surprise me. All the weird stuff is still weird but it's much less shocking after so long. For the most part these things that were once so alien to me are normal and just a part of life. 

One exception is the cultural tradition of gift giving. In Taiwan gift giving is a big deal and part of most business deals right down to making new friends. Because of this Nathan brings home lot's of different "gifts" from clients. These have ranged from meats that looked like hot dogs dying of the bubonic plague, to delicious pomelo fruit or  interesting moon cakes. Many times we've been given expensive "delicacies" that we simply cannot properly appreciate. We do our best to distribute these things to some lucky Asian who will appreciate, usually Nathan's assistant. 

These custard eggs were a unique gift. They were real egg shells that had been hollowed out and filled with some kind of custard. Nathan and I tried one, they weren't disgusting per say, but they weren't really appetizing either. I just kept wondering who had cleaned out the eggs and what if they hadn't done a thorough job... I psyched myself out for sure.

 This next one came in really nice packaging and there were two big jars inside. Jars of what exactly, I am still not sure but I was told it should be added to "any meal" for flavoring. I guess some Taiwanese are 'crazy for cocoa puffs' for this concoction which, as far as I could tell was beans, red pepper, and tofu???? maybe????  When I offered to put some in the kids oatmeal one morning, they all were quick to pass. Actually, for as popular as this stuff supposedly is, we kinda had a hard time finding a new home for it.

A really fun part of living in Asia is the Chinglish. It's everywhere and it's hilarious. 

 This was part of another "gift" we were given that had these nonsensical words of wisdom on them.

You would think that if you were printing something in a different language on your product that you would make sure it made sense. Therein lies the beauty of Chinglish. 

 When I was really sick Nathan bought a little freezer pizza out of desperation, for me. 

 As you can see, it is touted as a "Hawaiian" pizza, complete with mystery meat chunks, 2 pieces of pineapple and a plethora of corn. As far as Asian pizza's go, this is nothing, but that's a whole different post. Anyway, the other night it was late and I was hungry and Nathan decided to make this pizza for me since I think he got the hint that I was never going to go there on my own.

 As he sat there de-corning the pizza, we started reading the directions. They were printed in Chinese as well as "English". I don't know if it was just late and we were slap happy, but we got a kick out of these Cooking Directions.

Here they are, punctuation, spelling, it's all verbatim:

Diractions: necessary put the defrosted and soft pizza into the oven. How to prepare.

Oven-Put the defrosted and sofe pizza into the oven, and set the temperature to be over 180*C; two minutes later after the oven is heated, or at the time, the surface of cheese is golden and the fragrance overflows you can take out the pizza.

Frying & Banking-Wipe the pan clean (the oil shall not be poured in); put the defrosted and soft pizza into the pan; cover the lid and slowly fry for several minutes with the gentle heat; wait until the pizze's surface is golden and the cheese is paste-lice, and it's ready to serve.

Micro Oven-Put the defrosted and soft pizza on the plate. and put it in the microwave oven to heat; wait until the surface of cheese is bubbling and the fragrance overflows and it's ready to serve: however, the effect of the microwave oven is not so fragrant and crisp compared with that of the ordinary oven.

I bet you didn't know you could Fry and Bank a pizza, did you?! And I realize now how important it is to wait for the fragrance to overflow when dealing with pizza with paste-lice cheese. I really learn a lot living over here. 

Anyway, after a good Asian meal (which that pizza was NOT, in case you were wondering) always remember to THANK FOR PATRONIZE.