Genuine

I know this is naughty for me to think let alone memorialize in a public forum but I can't help it. Why do we as women think that offering our help to another woman in need, is enough? You know how we all say, "Well, let me know if there is anything I can do..." or "Seriously, if you need anything just give me a call...". I have said all of these phrases as much as the next woman so believe me when I say I know just how sincere they are being. I am being sincere, actually. I think we all are, the problem is that without realizing it by saying 'call me if you need anything' you are forcing some person already in a vulnerable position to further admit defeat by calling you to say they are so inadequate that they can't do it on their own so they are at your mercy. I never thought of it this way until recently when a lot of people have been saying these phrases to me. I don't want to seem ungrateful because I appreciate the gesture...but frankly I have come to think that 98% of the time, that is all it is. Service isn't just saying 'I'm here if you need me' it is more like showing up at your friends house and saying 'I'm here because you need me...now let me in you stubborn prideful person who isn't going to admit she could use help'. Why is it that I need someone to insist they are going to help me? Am I alone in that? I doubt it. My point is this: We all need help at some time or another. Contrary to the tone of this post I am actually doing well but I have just realized over the last month or so how I can improve my service towards others. Me saying the phrase, "Call me if you need anything..." translates into "blah blah blah, I am not going to help you unless you make me". The people who were the most helpful to me were those who were adamant (you know us completely capable housewives have to protest at least a few times) and specific. For example, "Which day can I come and get your kids this week?", that is a lot harder to brush off- especially when you need the help anyway! So my goal is to try and be more specific and genuine when I offer help to others...and maybe be better about accepting help once in a while as well.